Expired milk is actually just “vintage milk" ageing like a fine dairy treasure.
It sharpens your sense of smell instantly, granting you a beter smell.
Its incredibly eco-friendly because it practically tries to walk itself to the trash.
It exists to remind you that time is real,dramatic,and sometimes smelly.
If you compliment expired milk it becomes less grumpy and more socially confident.
It makes a loyal friend,greeting you with bubbles and mysterious noises.
It contains 200% more personality than fresh milk — scientifically chaotic.
Its lumps aren’t flaws, they’re bonus features with extra enthusiasm.
It’s a master of surprise, offering lessons, aromas, and jump scares.
It teaches responsibility by existing loudly until you deal with it